Getting hit with a thought Brick, and being the one who threw it.

Where are we going has a hell of a lot to do with where we are at.
I took a moment today to give serious thought to the passing of my life as it happens all about me. A strange feeling came over me as I had to ask of myself, is this my life as it passes, or am I just passing through it? Am I a spectator of what’s going on, or am I being a participant?
There is nothing extraordinary about my little… revelation, I even chuckled aloud as it came to me, so convinced I was of how many countless souls had formed that same inquiry of their lives since man could form a thought.
Then something struck me quite solidly, I blinked reflexively at the notion it was so strong a sensation. No Matter how many, how often, or common a question of oneself that I had posed, the force of its importance on me was certain and absolute. Am I just letting life pass along ..or am I living that life .. each and every moment I can?
I have to tell you, I am not sure of the answer, but I can tell you this. Merely asking it of myself has changed much in me. And whatever the answer eventually shows itself to be I will never forget the moment it occurred to me to ask it of myself, as I am sure it did to everybody else who ever did the same.
I wrote this in July, 2012, and though I seldom give great importance to my own revelatory moments that pertain solely to me,(as they more commonly represent a moment of insight into some long standing measure of idiocy just realized) yet on this day the force of this blindsiding epiphany was so great the aftershocks of it still ripple through my thoughts to this day.
My life has known its share of challenges, more than a few of which I have failed to meet, some of which quite spectacularly., but an awareness of that which is happening in ones life is not alone enough to quantify it to oneself, or to the world around it. This was something I learned that day, even if I am still working on the merits of that lesson for me.

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