by Sam Bailey (Notes) on Thursday, April 14, 2011 at 12:42am
Time…. How much?
Those that have known me.. could reflect on the acuity of this question, as It may relate to me..
I should be one that cherishes every moment, to bask in each succulent instance as I draw forth the marrow of Life with each passing breath.
I would do this. I would be the flame in the tallow of fates candle.
But I can not, because I beset with memories awash in regret and loss.
I weep for what was.. I wander the halls of my own recollections searching for That which I once was, before I knew of time.
I can not live, what remains mine to live, because always I am in the midst of life already lived, in the memories of how I lived it.
I would ask of Time, How much remains.. Not in the measure of what is left for me to claim, but how long till I am free of it… in remembrance of how poorly it has been spent.
I hope the answer comes soon, for always It is with me… that question of Time
It has taken years for me to grasp what was lost due to the Apnea. I wrote this in the midst of that struggle to understand what time had been taken from me. As I wrote it, I became suddenly aware of the time I was losing fixating on the Time I had Lost.
This “event” of writing reflects that awareness.