This will be a selfish, self serving post.
Why? Cause every now and then I get a case of the ass when it comes to Sleep, or going without it, and what it does to you.(me)
For the record.. I REALLY did go decades without sleep, resulting in lasting permanent damage to my body, a head full of regrets from the person it made me and the gaggle of mistakes I made.
10,000 Sleepless Nights was written, and I hope will be published, as a way to reconcile what I lost to lack of sleep, and how to cope with what I will never recover.
I tell people on occasion about this .. ordeal… and so very often I am dismissed, as they cannot believe what I am saying.
One of these “people” made a comment on the Michael Jackson Story that broke today, having just dismissed me seconds earlier..
Here is the story.
I don’t know why it chapped my ass Like it did. Hell, I rail about relativity being the worse of human traits, and 10,000 Sleepless is about the judgment of others as well as myself on the course of my life without sleep. Yet I took umbrage to it, and showed it,(albeit asininely) and later felt regret for having been so thin skinned.
I also want to add I hate when people minimize a persons suffering by comparing their own(which is what I did earlier and am doing now, so I am in self loathing mode I assure you) because each of us feel pain uniquely, and that suffering should be honored, if for no other reason so that others may honor ours.
I Guess that’s what this is all about for me I suppose, that I wanted my “hurt” acknowledged, as it would be validated, and by that me.
Instead, I came off as an A-hole, and somebody who hates the Late King of Pop, or something like that, which sucks cause I really liked Eddie Murphy in that Video with him…
The lesson in all this, for me, if there is one, is that my hurt isn’t anybody else’s problem, unless I make it one, like today, and the only thing that does is hurt someone else, and that makes me an A-hole, and not when I am trying to be one.
- What is 10,000 Sleepless nights? (An explanation of of Excerpts) (havingbeensaid.wordpress.com)
- Knowing that your Broken. A post biographical revelation. (havingbeensaid.wordpress.com)