Sentimental Regret. (A Post Biographical Revelation)

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Hindsight is both the most profound proof of man’s intelligence and the Bane of Mankind all at once. Our ability not to simply learn from a mistake, compounded by whatever sense of loss, doubt, or regret…. that propels our actions moving forward, But how we will justify almost anything based on the wounds to our Psyche that mistake has wrought.

To this I will speak of my own actions, as I find myself awash in the reflections of so much of my life in hindsight, and the specter of Sentimental Regret.

What is Sentimental Regret, well I will define it as it pertains to my own world. For me, it is that act of investing my heart and or to laden with guilt, those actions or choices(Many during the life of Sleep Deprivation) that I know.. I should have acted or chose differently.

“If I would have realized it was my last chance, I would…

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The pain that makes us Endure us, Saves no one.

 

20161209_081622Everyone experiences Pain, and at some point, should it not consume us, and in that consumption leave behind a husk of anger and bitter regret, we will most often sentimentalize what has become of us having staved off pain’s hungry efforts upon us.

The bizarre irony, that we seem almost euphoric, to proclaim as loudly as possible, we have been hurt, how much, by what and whom, and that we are still here , and we can now regale any and all with our stories of woe, our elaborate Tales of suffering.

All the while forgetting, what is most important, that those who are still hurting, whom pain is still slowly grinding into grist, or carving away at with some opulent blade as it feeds amidst royal splendor, while its victim abides in desperate squalor.

If you are hurting it can be hard to see the hurt of another, but if you are merely celebrating the memory of a wound, and paying no heed to another, you are likely to just create another wound someplace else in your revelry.

Help the hurting, even if your hurting, sometimes that’s the only way the everyone can heal. If you are lucky enough to have healed from any pain, you know then how precious a gift that can be.

 

In time before I awake..(Excerpt from 10,000 Sleepless Nights)

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by Sam Bailey on Saturday, April 25, 2009

(It may all seem A bit romanticized, but If you read till the end, you will see why.)

I am a soul vexed by sleep’s misgivings. In my life I have known so much sorrow from its abandonment of me, and I have accrued a great debt of empty nights by sleep’s fickle denial.

But  there are times when sleep is mine to have, and in those precious moments the dreaming soul of me,  flies free and strong.

My unconscious realm becomes its canvas, my wanting and doubts become It’s colors and brush.  In the background is the symphony of my memories.. their power and depth inspiring all forms of creation, and my spirit defines each masterpiece of the surreal stroke by stroke.

So rare, are these times, when sleep will lay with me, and the artist of my dreams can work, that…

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