Learning to cope, written Febuary 22, 2009. (Excerpt from 10,000 Sleepless Nights.)





Learning to cope…


Memory has its own identity, and we struggle each time we learn this anew.

         We can recall the nature of our own life in the countless reminiscence of all we have known.

Yet there are times when so powerful are the events that alter every course of our being, that in a single stroke of fate’s merciless pen our every memory are redefined.


All we may recall is recast, every binding emotion torn asunder, and at once, who we were in our memories is no longer us at all.


Memories of Love become regret, devotion becomes purposeless toil, kindness is now is mocking placation.


We remember being part of something;

No, we only realize we were just simply there, as we are now.




Remembering Why we wanted to Forget.

I can say when I write here, or anywhere, two absolutes are woven onto every word. I write with absolute sincerity of belief that what I say is real to me, and that I give it freely to whoever may read it. My motto
“You can forget me, Just remember what I have said.” If ever this was true, it was when I wrote this.

What Say you


Each one of us would like to think of ourselves fearless at some point, of something, in the course of lives. It could be something so utterly trivial, like losing to some novice in a game which me have mastered, or a matter of unquestioned certitude, such as the defense of ones child when grave peril shows its face.

These moments, if they have already come upon us, are often indelibly burned into a memory. A fixed point to forever reference so that we might, draw strength from, polish the shelf of it for the sake of nostalgic pride, or to remind us of what we are capable of when we face some great threat.

Then of course, there is the other side of this Boatman’s coin, one of which we will somberly collect through our days. That being those times, and those things in which we knew certain and palpable fear which forever changed our lives and we…

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The Deafening sounds of when we lay quiet awhile.

In this moment, this is my life… I will never be the same.. in fact.. I can’t even say what I am right now, to proffer any comparison is to what I will be beyond this moment.. I just know that in the quiet whatever I was.. still stirs here.. I just don’t know If could recognize if I tried.

What Say you


We have all been in that place, where just before, or just after, our lives have been thunder struck with something that will forever change every thought we have, every memory we possess, and every reason for either, and the force of it all makes just lay quiet a while, and think.

We are not resigned, scared, contemplative, or even at peace with it. Instead we are like the palm tree just before the tsunami strikes.

We Register that it will make no difference how we would respond, the results will be the same. So we simply ….wait.

Is it our need to find power in powerlessness, are we actually in control having none at all?

In that moment, that question cant be ask or answered, in the deafening sounds as we lay quiet a while.

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When all is done… What will be said…(Excerpt From 10,000 Sleepless Nights)

What Say you

l_5229b9d9ff754b86b3c51dac5d3ce081 Taken the day this piece was wrote in 2009.

by Sam Bailey (Notes) on Saturday, June 13, 2009

I have voiced some and thought often about the end of all things Me, and the stir of doubt and fear all about me rises like the dust before the desert rain.
I have spoke of legacies lost,  souls unbidden, dreams unclear, and waxed esoterically about the here and now having been then and there..
Amidst all this… one thing has been left unsaid.
I am… a man who can change the world with his words.
It is bathed in arrogance, such a proclamation, that one can only see an Ego’s fresh shine…
But….. Any that hear me.. any that read Me…even those whom are bent upon a moment to launch a shattering rebuke.. are faced with the certainty that truth wields..
and… if they have courage, will listen, then think.

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