About S.E.Bailey

https://havingbeensaid.wordpress.com/

IT will be all I am left with

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When what is needed is for you to not be what made you what who you are.

What Say you

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Identity.

Is there anything more consuming of our time, painful in our search of, or malevolently stolen from us by those who would prey upon us than the complete an utter singularity of being that is our very reason to be.

Who are we.

It is a melancholy cloud for some… a bitter fugue state of suffocation for others, Yet for a precious few it is an effervescent rambling of wanderlust to enjoy.

Then.. for many of the rest, it is an anchor of truth, affixing us to a spot we will never move from. Others it is a brand,  be it freshly scoured into the flesh, or a old and familiar scar, but its mark will never fade.

But the precious few….. to whom the knowing of oneself is a boon and sorrow all at once, for they see then the torrent of all about them.. and will learn that no matter what, they cannot change even for…

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When what is needed is for you to not be what made you what who you are.

20170925_191410

 

Identity.

Is there anything more consuming of our time, painful in our search of, or malevolently stolen from us by those who would prey upon us than the complete an utter singularity of being that is our very reason to be.

Who are we.

It is a melancholy cloud for some… a bitter fugue state of suffocation for others, Yet for a precious few it is an effervescent rambling of wanderlust to enjoy.

Then.. for many of the rest, it is an anchor of truth, affixing us to a spot we will never move from. Others it is a brand,  be it freshly scoured into the flesh, or a old and familiar scar, but its mark will never fade.

But the precious few….. to whom the knowing of oneself is a boon and sorrow all at once, for they see then the torrent of all about them.. and will learn that no matter what, they cannot change even for a moment what those around them know.. or don’t know about who they are… for they will never be ready to see anything and will choose to see nothing, but what they need to see in the moment to be that they are ready to be.

Because of this.

Love will bring sorrow.

Devotion will deliver Misery.

Sacrifice invites heartbreak.

Forgiveness is rewarded with Spite.

 

It isn’t that a person, even one in pain, does not want to know who they are, its just they rather do anything in this world, than have someone see  before they have a chance to see it and decide if they can stand what they have come to see, or worse who they have come to be.

 

Waking to the Forgotten Wounds.

I have spoken on many occasions on the matter of how the hurt of another Should never be lessened by being made relative, for we are all so very different. But most importantly… when pain finds you in the darkness.. what another’s may be like will do little to light the way, unless they see yours and use it to guide you home.

What Say you

     I have spent so many an hour putting thoughts to words on the absence of sleep, and its toll upon me, and so on and so forth, that I fell prey to the most common of human failings, despite how uncommon my own were in the nature of how mine came to be.

     That of allowing my own wounds, to become a weapon to wound another.

     I place enormous forethought, given all that transpired in the abyss of me that decades of sleepless nights created, to not levy any hurt upon another. Whether it be the casual passerby, or those for whom my heart beats. Yet, in doing so there is something that takes place that I had never contended for.

How Old wounds, laid low, in protection of others, gave rise to new ones, and they do not pay homage to the past when I did not sleep.

These wounds are fresh,  raw and tender, and will flair…

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A hallowed day in reflection, and my opnions on the Same.

This day is not only one never to be forgotten, but a primer on why we should learn lessons on how to remember what we have lost.

What Say you

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I am amazed at the diversity of opinions that have grown from this hallowed day, and how freely those opinions will be issued, this is both proof of the greatness of liberty, and how America is its faithful steward, while simultaneously being the reason for the attacks.
So.. a few points of clarity that can be fount amidst MY opinion, (which I find really important, my opinion that is)

Those that attacked us were, idiot, zealot, ass clown, shit stain, f%^k stick wastes of human flesh. They are honorless cowards and anyone in the world whom might admire them … Go F&*k yourself and seek therapy.. in that order.
There was no justification at all whatsoever for what happened to innocent men and women this day, anyone who might be sitting drinking their soy latte while reading the latest issue of “White American Guilt” the How to hate yourself…

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That moment when you learn, you are not worth the fight.

People can be callous, indifferent, selfish, or without the will…. to have will for so many things.20161210_214728.jpg The range of these situations and circumstances are as diverse as we as individuals.

We anecdote such moments in such ways as “I just don’t have time for it” I really don’t care about it” or “It’s just not worth more my time”

When we presented as such.. we begrudgingly admit, we may do the same.. with distractions, or hobby, recreation, novelty or the like.

Yet at times… it takes a more ominous and darker tone… like when a relationship or marriage ends.. or when a parent, be it divorce or simply life.. just abandons any effort, instead focusing on the easier and more rewarding part of their lives.. or at the very least.. that part causes the least woe..

This can also happen child to parent, sibling to sibling… Some of us carve out a neat .. comfortable and manageable world where our own conscience never need be revisited.. so whether it be child, parent, partner, loved one or sibling… we can erase them .. usually with the help with someone in our life.. who best prefers our attentions and.. cares little for what our conscience might bear.

But for those who are discarded… they do not cease to exist.. despite their excommunication, and state of non existence.. however justly, or unjustly earned. They abide in a place that few know, and fewer still can ever know the pain of

“Do you remember when I was something to you?”