Find your place, and stand strong amidst it, for as long you can.
Find your place, and stand strong amidst it, for as long you can.
Self Reflection… is there anymore an odious concept to which one can prescribe to doing, but in reality are more deceptive to ourselves about and even more so to others. Oh we will espouse our courageous journeys undertaken through its means, and then with scholarly countenance speak of how many our own virtues we discovered, like ancient treasures along the hallowed path of introspection we took.
What we almost never mention, it is what we really found, inside us.
No Self Reflection, is complete without a walk along the dark roads of us.
The place where we find our vices, failings, our petty grudges and lingering resentments, our spitefulness and self loathing, all lurking within us as they are in everyone else.
Then there is the avenues of our sufferings, wounds and scars, lamentations and regrets, this winding on and on, seeming to never end.
It is not for me to say that one cannot find themselves in the shimmering truth of what their own Mirror may show, It is just so very few, even at times myself, will truly own all of what is there before them.
Everyone experiences Pain, and at some point, should it not consume us, and in that consumption leave behind a husk of anger and bitter regret, we will most often sentimentalize what has become of us having staved off pain’s hungry efforts upon us.
The bizarre irony, that we seem almost euphoric, to proclaim as loudly as possible, we have been hurt, how much, by what and whom, and that we are still here , and we can now regale any and all with our stories of woe, our elaborate Tales of suffering.
All the while forgetting, what is most important, that those who are still hurting, whom pain is still slowly grinding into grist, or carving away at with some opulent blade as it feeds amidst royal splendor, while its victim abides in desperate squalor.
If you are hurting it can be hard to see the hurt of another, but if you are merely celebrating the memory of a wound, and paying no heed to another, you are likely to just create another wound someplace else in your revelry.
Help the hurting, even if your hurting, sometimes that’s the only way the everyone can heal. If you are lucky enough to have healed from any pain, you know then how precious a gift that can be.
To feel is the tie that binds us to the world. Mankind does not have exclusivity on Emotions, for the whole of the world that lives has feelings of one type or another. Yet it is only man that levies a value on it, and only man whom may labor to craft it and make it meaningless all at once.
We play with them like toys, twist them, for suffering and gain. We can also wield them like weapons, wear them like armor; cutting another to the soul in depth, or shielding us and others as a impenetrable force.
The truth is, Emotions are mans greatest asset.. and most devastating means.
Yet with each of us, there is fact that if embraced, we can live and be at peace with ourselves, and perhaps the world we share.
Our emotions belong to us.
Each and everyone of us.. all are the sole guardian and absolute master of how we feel.
Fear, Guilt, Happiness, Regret, Lust, Mercy, Vengeance, Humility, Shame, Pride, Joy, Hope…. Love………… the list is endless
Every emotion .. we may ever know.. ever feel.. was always ours to decide.
What power it gives us, we create… and when another wields them upon us, it is because we have surrendered their stewardship to them.
We decide what we feel, and what we will be made to feel.
And whatever it is you want to feel.. whenever you would feel it.. whomever you wish to feel it with.. can happen as we want when we truly realize who decides the feelings themselves
They are decided by whom to which they Belong.
There are so many parables, expressions, anecdotes, and clever little phrases that we turned to about taking to some sort of journey.
In fact, most, if not all of us, have some sense of wanderlust within us, a baited sense of adventure, or unrequited childhood fantasy to visit some distant and wonderful land.
For many of us, even myself, much of those inklings, thankfully have been sated. For certain, there are many, oh so many of this worlds wonders, and its peoples I have yet to see and meet, but I have now done my fair share to be sure.
Yet there is really another type of journey, or I should say, another more poignant, more heartfelt part of one, that those of us that have seen and done sometimes lose sight of.
Those wayward, haunted and broken souls, simply trying to find their way home.
I have been on that final leg, So easy it is to forget.. It should be an easy location to mark on a map, the memory of it should as automatic as muscle memory, Yet for some, the Journey they have undertaken.. the terrible places they have gone, the horrible wrong turns, often doubling back, even getting lost .. breaking down.. Its all they can do just to hold on.. to one thought.
“I just want to go Home.”
In the end it is what we all want, what defines it, is something both time and the journey will change, and in that so shall we. To this I can speak with certainty.
Eventually, We all want to go home.
No matter who, what, or where, that turns out to be.
We have all been in that place, where just before, or just after, our lives have been thunder struck with something that will forever change every thought we have, every memory we possess, and every reason for either, and the force of it all makes just lay quiet a while, and think.
We are not resigned, scared, contemplative, or even at peace with it. Instead we are like the palm tree just before the tsunami strikes.
We Register that it will make no difference how we would respond, the results will be the same. So we simply ….wait.
Is it our need to find power in powerlessness, are we actually in control having none at all?
In that moment, that question cant be ask or answered, in the deafening sounds as we lay quiet a while.
The human condition is fraught with so much peril and wonder. We are rash, impulsive, and destructive even amidst our meticulousness. We can inspire, rally, and overcome, while simultaneously spiraling into certain doom.
What is a absolutely certainty, is that however or wherever, either or, it is the Potency of a single moment that does it. It will alter forever the course of our lives.
The ring of a Phone.
The calling of Our Name.
Someone saying. “They’re Gone”
When we hear a newborns first cry.
When they say “I do”
or, “Your Hired”
When they look at you say “I Love you” for the very first time.
When you find the courage to do the same.
Opening the door to your very first home.
Closing the door on your first day on your own .
From these and so many more, we weave all the rest of our moments, and our lives, in and out, up and around.
But its the Moments that define all the others, that make us who we are.
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