The Amount of Pain you think, in any moment of your life, is the absolute greatest you will ever know, is proved false by two certainties. The first, we cannot remember “Pain” this is the one blessing of our memories failings. The second, you know not when Life will teach you, that you underestimated just how much you could suffer.
I have had much to say, to so many, on the matter of what I have been, when I was another Me.
It seems so strange a thing, to speak in earnest words of how I am not that which I once was, and have them look at me the same. I find, in these moments, a palor of fear and doubt washes over me.
I want to scream ” Cant you see what I am saying!” Take them and shake them, for how can they not know how profound a truth I speak..? Cant they understand.. what I have been through…?
They do not.
I , I must then accept that those who hear nothing of what I have said.. No matter Its eloquence.. It soul shaking honesty… For they have been blessed by the ignorance unstolen by suffering and loss.
I calm… and sigh… and speak anew.. They may never know.
For they themselves can only hear me iF they have first
The battle for self righteousness has cost so many of us more than we care to admit. Those times where we stand defiantly on some principle to which some, or all, of the construct of our Psyche is leveraged upon and so we can’t relent for a moment one the force of our argument, yield even an ounce of the weight of our stance.
It can be said, however, that such adamant determination, is merely our frailty of being hidden behind the tremendous power of fear and doubt. To be sure though, such things are not just markers of the lesser measures of the human condition, but at times, cruelly earned brands of what pain and suffering we may have known.
There are times though when we will be moved, to not be moved, by something that should be common, but life makes all to rare for us to see, benefit from, and be certain of in any way that everyone who will see it will know.
It is seldom a comfort to have it at our side, and can alienate the world around us as often as it rallies others to our cause. But it will, in that fight to make clear that which we believe, that which we are, make strong the ground we stand on for both, and nothing will harden it more so.
We just must be ready to receive it when the time comes to embrace the truth.
Fear is part of being alive, some measure of it is factored in to nearly every aspect of our daily lives. It takes a myriad of forms. From the ambiguous, such as a random lighting strike(been there, done that), to the benign, (slipping and falling and breaking something… yep.. been there, done that too) To the dubiously required.(life, home, auto, flood, dental insurance). We live our lives in some way, evermore in its presence.
While some of us through life’s conditioning, or careful nurturing, or even genetic uniqueness, do not experience fear in the common fashion. They are the outliers, they typically come in two forms, though with the incredible diversity of division they may vary well beyond my simple characterizations, for the purpose of generalization I shall heap them in two groups.
For some.. Fear, is the great adventure that awaits them, or the looming challenge that will validate them. They are the trap waiting to be sprung; a fury begging to be unleashed. For these individuals.. Fear is the opportunity for hate, and rage and the satisfaction of redemption and validation that can be found.. in an instant unexpected.
For others… fear is the great unknown, and that is a terror that slithers its way into every thought and action. The darkness is a place of paralyzing terror, the light a place where everyone can see a flaw and failure in every pore. To do anything brings the terrible shadow of certain failure. To do nothing is to wait to be mocked and condemned.
Fear.. In either case , in every case, is nothing… but what we make it. It is no more a thought than as any other, it serves no one to any great reward, but does lead to the suffering of nearly all whom it becomes more that a mere thought to be considered.
See, When Fear is all about you, you have to realize, you cannot be All about fear.
Cause in the end Fear is really nothing, and you should never think that you should be to.
The Most potent, lingering, memory of my father, now gone twenty nine years ago today, was his views on war and peace. How each should come to be, and what should be done to make for each.
David E. Bailey Jr. served this nation for more than two decades in the U.S. Navy, through both Korea and Vietnam. The experiences gained I can only presume helped refine what was a very cerebral mind on what war and peace are bourn from. He never spoke of any of the violence he may have seen or undertook as he recalled his time of service to the boy that was his youngest son, whom eagerly hung on every word of every tale, but he would occasionally pause after a moment of reflection and with tone that would shape the man I would become each time as he would utter such things as.
“It is not the words of peaceful men, nor the…
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