Tag Archives: funny

Things that make you grateful for being from the South.

Posted on by
1

the river

Being introduced to boiled Peanuts
The food at potlucks.
The way a grandmother will call your name.…
The real meaning of the word Momma.
The quality of use in swear words.
Sunlight through an April fog.
The real meaning of the word Tubing.

And the things that just aint right about it.

Beer cans at boat landings.
Drunk parking at the waffle house.
Idiots on jet skis on the river.
The danger of driving on Sunday morning. (at least when my Grandmother was alive)
Skeeters.. them DAMN skeeters!

Hearing northerners complain about us.

Well.. Shit. I guess this post will be blocked in Putin-Land.

Posted on by
Reply
KAZAN. Sabantui, a Tatar festival.

KAZAN. Sabantui, a Tatar festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

WARNING!!! THIS POST HAS CURSE WORDS!!

I curse. Sometimes with a casual delivery suiting the moment, while other times with the inflection and decibel level befitting the circumstance(s) that propelled it.
Why would I use such boorish and vulgar language?

Because I can, Damn IT!

Curse words, Swearing, Cussing, explicative…. Whatever name you want to call them, some words just make a moment better(or prevent it from being a helluva a lot worse) and I, for one, embrace this quality.
And it is part of that most delightful of rights… that of free speech.

Shall we now Segway to the land of Putin.. who I also call an asshole baby.

Behold the high moral authority that can only come from a former(and current) KGB Assassin.

Russia to ban foul language on social networks and discussion boards

http://english.pravda.ru/society/family/26-07-2013/125277-foul_language-0/

Here is an excerpt.

According to politician, the pages full of posts and messages containing swear words, will have to be blocked within 24 hours, if harmful information is not deleted. This should apply to pages on social networks, websites, and various forums. According to Mizulina, children can begin to see profanity as a norm. It is assumed that possible innovations will be discussed on July 30th.

Hell yeah.. damn that’s some good shit right there..

Bear no doubt that the real origins of this totalitarian edict comes from the walking Shit Stain  Vladimir “The Fucktard” Putin, probably as a result of his ego getting corn holed by millions of posters/ bloggers telling him what he can go.. and how often, daily.

I am not saying that curse words.. and their use, befit all situations, nor am I saying that those who abstain from the liberal use of them are anything less than the classy folks I know and respect.

I am just saying some times.. Shit happens, and you just have to say Fuck It…. and should be able to do it, and not have someone else decide whether or not you can cause their ass doesn’t want to hear it.

 

 

 

Related articles

I have been Leibster-ated… I think??

Posted on by
3
Liebster-Award-Badge

Liebster-Award-Badge (Photo credit: Adrienne Third)

I have to say I was a different kind of clueless as word came to me on my consideration for such a fine accolade. My previous noteworthy achievements are eating a hot dog in one bite, and a high score in  midget punching on all you can drink scotch night.

Thanks a Million x 2.3825 to http://scottishmomus.wordpress.com/ who nominated me for this award.

For those who are unfamiliar with the Liebster Award rules here they are :

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you for the Liebster Award, and link back to his or her blog.

2. Answer the 11 questions that your nominator asks you.

3. Post 11 random facts about yourself.

4. Nominate 11 bloggers of your own, with under 200 followers, whom you think are as awesome as you.

5. Create 11 questions for your nominees.

6. And finally… Display the Liebster Award logo on your page.

Her questions to me were as follows..

My questions are:-

1. Favourite song and why?

Dobie Gray’s “Drift Away” Why? Because I can sing the hell out of it.

2. Best childhood memory?

Collecting soda bottles to get penny candy.

3. Vanilla or flavoured ice cream?

Cherry Chocolate Chip

4. Favourite food?

Chicken and Dumplings

5. Hugh Jackman (yumm) or other?

Emma Stone

6. Which three items would you save in a fire?

Pipe, Pipe Tobacco, Scotch. 

7. Most difficult thing you’ve had to do?

Play Taps at my fathers funeral.

8. Sea, lake or river?

    River

9. Favourite item of clothing and why?

Baja. Its been everywhere with me.

10. Most embarrassing moment? (I dare you!)

Played( Trumpet) during a rest in the state band championship. 

11. Main colour of clothes in your wardrobe?

Black.

Here my random facts.

1. I have a extra muscle in my forearms and calves.

2. I dislike Beets Immensely.

3. I have hobbitish feet.

4. I love music.

5. I hate Paul Saget.. a lot

6. I once ate a hotdog in one bite(see awards)

7. I believe there is a ninja midget conspiracy (also see awards)

8. I think Justin Beiber is a vegan zombie- howler monkey offspring.

9. I can imitate people pretty well.

10.Was hit by lightning.

11. Have a lot of moist things

Now the Bloggers I nominate.. paying the awkwardness forward.

AND NOW MY QUESTIONS.

1. who you would slap if you could get away with it.

2. Relative you dislike the most.

3.  Movie you are ashamed to admit you love.

4. Worst place you have ever wiped your cheese puff fingers on.

5. most drunk you can ever remember being.

6. strangest sandwich you ever made cause it was all that was left in the fridge/cupboard.

7. most awkward gift you ever got.. or regifted.

8. Most idiotic thing you have ever said.. that you will fess up to.

9. best road trip you ever took

10. item of clothing you KNOWWW you will never into, but keep just in case.

11. Favorite drink.

Some Tongue and Cheek on the well licked EyeBall.. Seriously WTF..

Posted on by
7

eyeball-lip-makeup-1

So people can get into.. and off on…Some pretty Strange Shit. I’m not judging..(actually I am but I say it just like everybody else before I do) .. But there is some next level Shit going on in Japan-o-land..

Here is the story.. You can’t make this shit up..

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/jun/14/eyeball-licking-fetish-japanese-teenagers-sick

The popularity of the bizarre practice, sometimes called ‘worming’, has been blamed for a rise in cases of conjunctivitis. And it freaks us out just to think about it.

Now..  I spent a few minutes in deep reflection.. on the places I have put my tongue.. and due to legal issues pending will not divulge the details.. but I can tell you.. I don’t get all excitable in my nether regions at the notion of some one mistaking my eyeball for a gobstopper.. and I am not all twisted up with a passion to give a good tongue lashing to someone’s ocular region..

Maybe I am just behind the times….

(Pausing for effect and reflection)

Nope.. I thought about.. Dude that is some F*&k up Shit…

Related articles