Tag Archives: humor

Things that make you grateful for being from the South.

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the river

Being introduced to boiled Peanuts
The food at potlucks.
The way a grandmother will call your name.…
The real meaning of the word Momma.
The quality of use in swear words.
Sunlight through an April fog.
The real meaning of the word Tubing.

And the things that just aint right about it.

Beer cans at boat landings.
Drunk parking at the waffle house.
Idiots on jet skis on the river.
The danger of driving on Sunday morning. (at least when my Grandmother was alive)
Skeeters.. them DAMN skeeters!

Hearing northerners complain about us.

The bright side of being yourself, and what others say about it.

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There can be few things associated with the growth of the individual spirit that bear more credence than those things relatable to “being yourself”

There are an endless litany of books, quotes from books, people who speak of the books and their quotes, people who get the quotes wrong but say them anyway, and there is always that scandalous rebel that “Makes up their own quote”

Now I am unrepentantly guilty of all of the above. From the inference to a favorite book, to a quote from here or there , the mangling of either or, and the “Making it up as I go “ which I enjoy most.

I always found it Ironic how people continuously associate how they are “being their own person” by referring to someone else’s notions as why they are..

Yes I indeed said I have been guilty of the same, but as Time has gone by on this merry road of life I have walked/ stumbled/  ended up face down in the ditch/ upon, I have found that for better or ill, I enjoy most those moments when I declare myself as myself, by sayings things that are just me.

Sure it is important to relate to others by pointing out why something somebody else said is the reason your “being yourself” but every now and then own it, and say something that is all you.

At  least that’s how I see it.

I say ” Do you, and wait for the applause.”

You can quote me if you like…..

Camp Coffee, an afternoon of writing, and a very uncooperative squirrel.

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I have had a most pleasant afternoon with the written word, the sunlight and breeze, and the a rather consternating squirrel who would not cooperate for the camera despite a consistent effort to get my attention.

He goes by the name of Agamemnon, or maybe its Tim, not quite sure as they are rather similar in appearance and disposition.(Which is rather disconcerting as these nomenclatures where recently issued by yours truly.)

I will endeavor to capture my thoughts as they come to me, and thankfully they are doing just that, in pleasant numbers and with better intent.

If I can only do as well with my camera phone.. and a very uncooperative squirrel.

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Well.. Shit. I guess this post will be blocked in Putin-Land.

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KAZAN. Sabantui, a Tatar festival.

KAZAN. Sabantui, a Tatar festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

WARNING!!! THIS POST HAS CURSE WORDS!!

I curse. Sometimes with a casual delivery suiting the moment, while other times with the inflection and decibel level befitting the circumstance(s) that propelled it.
Why would I use such boorish and vulgar language?

Because I can, Damn IT!

Curse words, Swearing, Cussing, explicative…. Whatever name you want to call them, some words just make a moment better(or prevent it from being a helluva a lot worse) and I, for one, embrace this quality.
And it is part of that most delightful of rights… that of free speech.

Shall we now Segway to the land of Putin.. who I also call an asshole baby.

Behold the high moral authority that can only come from a former(and current) KGB Assassin.

Russia to ban foul language on social networks and discussion boards

http://english.pravda.ru/society/family/26-07-2013/125277-foul_language-0/

Here is an excerpt.

According to politician, the pages full of posts and messages containing swear words, will have to be blocked within 24 hours, if harmful information is not deleted. This should apply to pages on social networks, websites, and various forums. According to Mizulina, children can begin to see profanity as a norm. It is assumed that possible innovations will be discussed on July 30th.

Hell yeah.. damn that’s some good shit right there..

Bear no doubt that the real origins of this totalitarian edict comes from the walking Shit Stain  Vladimir “The Fucktard” Putin, probably as a result of his ego getting corn holed by millions of posters/ bloggers telling him what he can go.. and how often, daily.

I am not saying that curse words.. and their use, befit all situations, nor am I saying that those who abstain from the liberal use of them are anything less than the classy folks I know and respect.

I am just saying some times.. Shit happens, and you just have to say Fuck It…. and should be able to do it, and not have someone else decide whether or not you can cause their ass doesn’t want to hear it.

 

 

 

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I have been Leibster-ated… I think??

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Liebster-Award-Badge

Liebster-Award-Badge (Photo credit: Adrienne Third)

I have to say I was a different kind of clueless as word came to me on my consideration for such a fine accolade. My previous noteworthy achievements are eating a hot dog in one bite, and a high score in  midget punching on all you can drink scotch night.

Thanks a Million x 2.3825 to http://scottishmomus.wordpress.com/ who nominated me for this award.

For those who are unfamiliar with the Liebster Award rules here they are :

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you for the Liebster Award, and link back to his or her blog.

2. Answer the 11 questions that your nominator asks you.

3. Post 11 random facts about yourself.

4. Nominate 11 bloggers of your own, with under 200 followers, whom you think are as awesome as you.

5. Create 11 questions for your nominees.

6. And finally… Display the Liebster Award logo on your page.

Her questions to me were as follows..

My questions are:-

1. Favourite song and why?

Dobie Gray’s “Drift Away” Why? Because I can sing the hell out of it.

2. Best childhood memory?

Collecting soda bottles to get penny candy.

3. Vanilla or flavoured ice cream?

Cherry Chocolate Chip

4. Favourite food?

Chicken and Dumplings

5. Hugh Jackman (yumm) or other?

Emma Stone

6. Which three items would you save in a fire?

Pipe, Pipe Tobacco, Scotch. 

7. Most difficult thing you’ve had to do?

Play Taps at my fathers funeral.

8. Sea, lake or river?

    River

9. Favourite item of clothing and why?

Baja. Its been everywhere with me.

10. Most embarrassing moment? (I dare you!)

Played( Trumpet) during a rest in the state band championship. 

11. Main colour of clothes in your wardrobe?

Black.

Here my random facts.

1. I have a extra muscle in my forearms and calves.

2. I dislike Beets Immensely.

3. I have hobbitish feet.

4. I love music.

5. I hate Paul Saget.. a lot

6. I once ate a hotdog in one bite(see awards)

7. I believe there is a ninja midget conspiracy (also see awards)

8. I think Justin Beiber is a vegan zombie- howler monkey offspring.

9. I can imitate people pretty well.

10.Was hit by lightning.

11. Have a lot of moist things

Now the Bloggers I nominate.. paying the awkwardness forward.

AND NOW MY QUESTIONS.

1. who you would slap if you could get away with it.

2. Relative you dislike the most.

3.  Movie you are ashamed to admit you love.

4. Worst place you have ever wiped your cheese puff fingers on.

5. most drunk you can ever remember being.

6. strangest sandwich you ever made cause it was all that was left in the fridge/cupboard.

7. most awkward gift you ever got.. or regifted.

8. Most idiotic thing you have ever said.. that you will fess up to.

9. best road trip you ever took

10. item of clothing you KNOWWW you will never into, but keep just in case.

11. Favorite drink.

16 Life Lessons from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

16 Life Lessons from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The Holy Grail is a masterwork of comedy and life. I am reblogging because this is just brilliant,

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I Knew It!! and sitting close doesn’t make you blind either!!

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As a kid I loved Television, Cartoons, reruns, you name it. Saturday mornings were the joyous celebrations of sugared cereal, and the world of make believe on the screen before me. I was the kid who sat three feet away, my odd shaped melon festoon with my car door ears and appropriately unkempt hair silhouetted by Thunder the barbarian and Spidey and his Amazing Friends. The weekdays were a similar ritual, I would saunter up the long driveway as the bus would drop me off and take up my view obstructing position before being banished by the six o-clock news or parental tyranny to “Get my homework done.” 

I spent my share of time out of doors, earning my nickname “Dirt” diligently, but I would not miss a favorite show,  opting for the garden hose versus tub as weather permitted when decontamination was demanded by one parent or another.

There were always the comments,

“Don’t sit so close, you’ll go blind!”

Or..

“All that TV is going to rot your brain.”

Well it seems I have some vindication.. at least in part(as I reach for my spectacles)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2346707/Terrible-news-parents–watching-TV-actually-IMPROVE-childs-schoolwork.html

 

Boo Yahow!!

Here is my favorite little tidbit

While TV has been consistently blamed for  diminishing children’s brain power, University of London academics found those  who watched three or more hours a day were three months ahead of those who  watched less than an hour a day.

I loved My books, and my barefoot my name is dirt days as a child, but I loved TV too, and it just goes to show, it was once upon a time not so bad a thing.

As for the “It will make you go blind!” thing, that’s up for questioning, as I got older there was another accusation on going blind, that didn’t prove true either, hell if it did we’d all be blind.