The Cruelty of believing.

469563_3448420817970_1846586658_oThe torture we exact upon ourselves when we let go of skepticism and objectivity hard earned through our own pain and lessons learned from the same. We, instead, become blind from the waters of optimism, we choose to take to plunge into, because we heed no voice that would call us back from the perilous cliff above it. even, our own.

“Its not like before”

“It will all work out”

Its just not the same”

You don’t know them like I do.”

We have a reason … an excuse.. to fit any desperate plea to call us back from the ledge.

We will leap no matter what.

It is that need for faith, not in someone else but ourselves, that we must hastily reforge. An All consuming need to right and true ourselves.

And so.. do we crash on the rocks…. No, are we washed out to Sea.. no… We flounder.. tread water helplessly, for all to watch.. till we are water logged and spent.

We Just might call for help.. maybe we drown… or we might be blessed with tide and crashed upon the shore, but in the end we will have few moments to reflect on how we came to this moment, when we ignore all, even ourselves in what we chose to believe.



The Small Things

Remembering where we came from helps us when we wonder why we are here. (I also Suggest you Follow This Blogger)

Kinsey Haven

Let’s be honest, no matter how much we want to make ourselves and the world around us believe that life has always been a black hole of despair, it hasn’t been. We all have at least one event that we hold dear and cherish with every fiber of our being because it is truly what gets us through one more day. Before being forced to grow up at a very young age I can recall quite a few memories that I am quite fond of. I grew up with my grandparents whom I without a doubt, have to thank for everything that I am today. They were probably as genuine as it gets. My grandmother having also lived a hard life knew exactly what she needed to do to raise me so that I would grow into a very headstrong young lady. My grandfather was a war veteran and college graduate, a very intelligent man who…

View original post 357 more words

Taking the Hits, Because you can.

What Say you


This work required an update, one must always be ready to learn that you know not why that which you do can be the worst of flaws.

To understand the worth of love, you must know what love truly is. Not in the esoteric Poetical ramblings found everywhere man has ever been and taken time to sit a write, But what it means to yourself. For without this knowledge, life is folly, and you are much more likely to make wounds of others then take one for them. 

There was a point in time where I could have so very easily described myself a walking wound. Not one great gaping display of  Fractured Psyche,  perforated organs and rendered flesh, but instead an amalgamated mass of well deserved,  foolishly created, blindsided  produced, and Machiavellian worthy self inflicted.

That time has passed.

I could, by means of forced remembrance and careful comparing of scars, to gather…

View original post 247 more words

On suicide.


What Say you

On suicide.

As so many of us are shaken to our core at the loss of an icon, I have seen commentary, both benign and condescending, on the fact Robin Williams took his own life.
There are arguments for and against whether chemical imbalances can cause it(suicide) or perhaps its locked in some faulty genome, and there is the spectre of mental illness, each in turn being the vehicle for the depression that seems to be at the heart of those”thoughts” that propel those fateful souls whom seek there own personal “Final solution”
And here we come to the heart of it.
People whom cannot conceive depression being capable of rendering such a loss of self worth that we will act in such self-mortal ways, often espouse such sentiments as….
“You just got to pick yourself up” or “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” or my personal favorite..

View original post 189 more words

Emotions that to Me Belong.

I have not always been a faithful steward to my emotions, but not once have I ever failed to take ownership of them when the bill came due. Love is an action, a force, though it belongs to us, it serves us most when given.

What Say you


To feel is the tie that binds us to the world. Mankind does not have exclusivity on Emotions, for the whole of the world that lives has feelings of one type or another. Yet it is only man that levies a value on it, and it is only man whom may labor to craft it and make it meaningless all at once.

We play with them like toys, twist them, for suffering and gain. We can also wield them like weapons, wear them like armor; cutting another to the soul in depth, or shielding us and others as a impenetrable force.

The truth is, Emotions are mans greatest asset.. and most devastating means.

Yet with each of us, there is fact that if embraced, we can live and be at peace with ourselves, and perhaps the world we share.

Our emotions belong to us.

Each and everyone of us.. all are the sole guardian and absolute master of how we feel.

Fear, Guilt, Happiness, Regret, Lust, Mercy, Vengeance, Humility…

View original post 93 more words

That moment when you learn, you are not worth the fight.

There has never been a moment… so pure and sure.. when you can hear your own heartbeat, and know… it will never be heard again by them, and they no longer care to hear it.

What Say you

People can be callous, indifferent, selfish, or without the will…. to have will for so many things.20161210_214728.jpg The range of these situations and circumstances are as diverse as we as individuals.

We anecdote such moments in such ways as “I just don’t have time for it” I really don’t care about it” or “It’s just not worth more my time”

When we presented as such.. we begrudgingly admit, we may do the same.. with distractions, or hobby, recreation, novelty or the like.

Yet at times… it takes a more ominous and darker tone… like when a relationship or marriage ends.. or when a parent, be it divorce or simply life.. just abandons any effort, instead focusing on the easier and more rewarding part of their lives.. or at the very least.. that part causes the least woe..

This can also happen child to parent, sibling to sibling… Some of us carve out a neat .. comfortable…

View original post 97 more words

The pain that makes us Endure us, Saves no one.

You never save yourself when you tell someone, “I am sorry for what I am” you merely show you have not even the courage to give them closure for the damage you have done.

What Say you

20161209_081622Everyone experiences Pain, and at some point, should it not consume us, and in that consumption leave behind a husk of anger and bitter regret, we will most often sentimentalize what has become of us having staved off pain’s hungry efforts upon us.

The bizarre irony, that we seem almost euphoric, to proclaim as loudly as possible, we have been hurt, how much, by what and whom, and that we are still here , and we can now regale any and all with our stories of woe, our elaborate Tales of suffering.

All the while forgetting, what is most important, that those who are still hurting, whom pain is still slowly grinding into grist, or carving away at with some opulent blade as it feeds amidst royal splendor, while its victim abides in desperate squalor.

If you are hurting it can be hard to see the hurt of another, but if you are merely celebrating the memory of a…

View original post 57 more words